Is That You Or The Pill Talking?

Posted on April 26, 2012 by Rebecca in General Health

Picture this: One day you meet a guy, he asks you out, you fall in love, you meet his parents, you get married, you decide it’s time to have a baby, you stop taking the pill. Now stop. Take note. Because this is the exact moment things start to change.  You start feeling less ‘in the mood’ around him, you start picturing other people. The smell of his skin on your sheets doesn’t make you smile, in fact, it doesn’t affect you at all. The slow sinking feeling starts because he does nothing for you anymore. You tell yourself that this is what happens in long term commitments –but there might be a more fundamental biological reason to all this. Rewind to the beginning and the moment you meet,  the moment when you first feel your attraction to him , now press pause and think: Is that you or the pill talking?

Since the pill became available in the 1950’s, it has become one of the most popular forms of contraception. Elevating your oestrogen and estrogens, the contraceptive pill essentially tricks your body into believing it is pregnant.  New research is emerging revealing how the pill affects your relationship choices and your attraction to different men. We all know pregnancy can make you a little crazy so it’s not a surprise the pill can change you – what’s surprising is how much.

Here are a few ways the pill can affect you:


Women on the pill have been shown to prefer men with lower testosterone, who are generally more faithful, more stable, more financially dependable and just better long term prospects. Sounds reasonable, but a study published in Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences showed women were less sexually satisfied and less attracted to partners they chose whilst on the pill.  They were, on the other hand, more satisfied with the nonsexual parts of the relationship.   The leads me to the second change:


Pheromones are the great key to attraction; our pheromones contain histocompatability complex (MHC) genes which are essentially an immune system surveillance that we can detect through scent. We’re usually attracted to someone with different MHC genes so we can create offspring with the strongest possible immune system. However those taking the pill are more likely to choose males with similar MHC genes which means when you stop taking the pill, he might not make you quite as ‘excited’ as before. Interestingly, although women who chose partners on the pill report being less attractive and having less satisfying sex, they have the same amount of orgasms.


You are actually attracted to different people according to your menstrual cycle. When you are ovulating you are more attracted to men with more masculine features (think James Bond) because you are looking for a daddy who can give you superhuman children. But when you are at your lowest chance of fertility more feminine features (and once again low testosterone)  are more desirable because you are looking for a dependable protector. This is when Leo Di Caprio starts looking pretty good. When you are on the pill you are stuck in stasis and always attracted to men with more feminine features. When it’s time to have a kid, this can also affect your attraction to your partner.


Research show when women are ovulating, they are more alluring to men. This means exotic dancers who aren’t on the pill and ovulating enjoy better tips to the tune of $354 per shift.  Dancers on the pill don’t enjoy the same boost, staying steady at $200. Dang.

Whether you want to be on the pill or not, the important part is to be aware that you are under the influence. Dr Craig xxxx who led a study of 2,500 women, recommends stopping the pill for a few months before you get married – just to make sure you are actually attracted to the one you love. Who said love was easy?

If you stopped the pill and discovered you weren’t attracted to your fiancé, would you go through with it?